Tarvaris Jackson

29 07 2009

Tarvaris Jackson, Minnesota Vikings QB

So I know what you’re thinking, who the hell is Tarvaris Jackson?!  He is the guy that Brett Favre tortured for almost the entire NFL offseason.  Would he be getting another shot at Minnesota’s quarterback job?  Today Tarvaris got his answer and Brett Favre officially decided to stay retired.  Favre thought his body was just too old to play an entire season.  I must say I’m really surprised at this decision, but probably not more surprised than Tarvaris was.

Tarvaris has a spotty performance record to say the least.  In the 2008 season, he started two games before being benched.  Due to an injury, he started again in week 14 and actually played really well for the rest of the season.  The playoffs were a different story and they lost in the first round to Philly.  Tarvaris looked terrible in that game!  My mother is a Philly fan and I actually still remember it.

So thanks to Brett’s indecision, the Vikings didn’t make any significant moves to get a better quarterback in the offseason and might be stuck with Tarvaris (and a hope and a prayer).  I say “might”, because there is little doubt Tarvaris will have to fight for his job again, but this time against Sage Rosenfels.  Sage offers Minnesota a less strong, but more accurate option.  Hard to say who wins this one, but who doesn’t love a good fight?!

Fighting is fun to watch, but it isn’t fun to be a part of it.  I’ve heard the popular argument, but I will take happy sex over make-up sex any day.  Once in a fight, some men are tempted to use gifts to try to end the quarrel.  My gift tip here is super simple.  Don’t freakin do this!  Gifts should be to celebrate what you have and not a ploy to alter emotions.  If a heartfelt apology isn’t enough then fix it with your actions (and not your wallet).  Don’t get me wrong, women will absolutely take your gift.  However, you will get more bang for your buck if you give it on another occasion (and the same applies to giving make-up flowers).  SAVE YOUR MONEY!  You’re the quarterback; I’m just here to protect you.

 

QUESTION:  Without looking back, how many times did I write Tarvaris’s name?

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Big Ben Roethlisberger

15 07 2009

ObamaSteelers

If Barack Obama was an NFL quarterback, which quarterback do you think he would be?  My guess is Ben Roethlisberger.  When Ben was playing high school football, “the man” tried to hold him down.  The coach preferred to start his son in the position of quarterback so Ben was stuck as a wide receiver until his senior year.  Hmmm….Ben had to endure favoritism given to someone a person in power just felt more comfortable with.  I’m sure Obama can relate to that.  Ben is also known for playing outside the pocket and shaking things up a little.  This sounds like a “change platform” to me.  And then the obvious, Ben won big in only his second professional season.  He followed that up by winning the Super Bowl again just a few short years later.  Ben’s football accomplishments (and the speed at which he has achieved them) baffle my mind in exactly the same way that Obama’s political success does.

Sometimes getting something faster can make it seem even better.  I know that is the case with my lunch order.  The faster it arrives, the better I think it tastes.  Keep this in mind when unexpected gifting opportunities arise.  These unexpected gifts are often more meaningful to the recipient than the standard occasions like a birthday (those can start to appear more like an obligation).  Flowers or a gift to celebrate a big promotion will seem even more extraordinary if you can get it over to the recipient as soon as possible (within 24 hours).  Whenever you think you want to send a card or gift for something, get online and do it before the thought slips your mind.  Timing is everything so don’t miss a window to gain some extra points.  You’re the quarterback; I’m just here to protect you.





Vince Young

7 07 2009

Vince

“Don’t start none, won’t be none.”  This old expression basically means that if you don’t start the problem, there won’t be a problem.  The danger of writing a public blog is that people close to you might think you are talking about them, when you are really just offering general advice to the public.  In this case, I do have someone specific in mind (let’s call him Johnny) and I hope he’s reading.  So what do my friend Johnny and Vince Young have in common?  They’re both stuck in the aftermath of a great performance they probably can’t recreate and definitely can’t sustain.  Don’t let this happen to you!

For Vince, this performance was his amazing 2006 Rose Bowl Championship win (maybe my favorite football game EVER) followed by the start of his inconsistent and mediocre NFL career.  In the beginning of a romantic relationship, a guy (Johnny) might be compelled to call his new lady several times a day, pick up flowers at the drop of a hat, regularly schedule fancy dinners, and buy random gifts for no reason at all.  Don’t get me wrong, I think this stuff is wonderful.  If you happen to like doing these things as a natural part of your super romantic personality, that’s great.  Your lady has found a needle in a haystack.  However, if you think your woman understands that this is just part of your “courting period”, you are sadly mistaken.  Woman will see this as your standard behavior when you “love” them.  When you stop doing these things with the same regularity (and you probably will), they will assume there has been a decline in that love. 

Let me be clear, I’m NOT saying that you shouldn’t do these romantic things in the beginning of a relationship.  I just think you should do them in a manner that is fairly consistent with how your behavior will be over the long haul.  If you are like Johnny and you are just too lovesick to heed good advice, don’t say I didn’t warn you.  You’re the quarterback; I’m just here to protect you.