Clinton Portis

9 09 2009

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My kids went back to school today and I (like many parents) took numerous pictures this morning of them all dressed up in their brand-spanking-new first day of school outfits.  Clinton Portis seems to know the power of a fresh new outfit and he wears his various costumes to press conferences just to provide Washington fans with some entertainment.  I’m not a Washington fan, but I do find these antics amusing.  You have to be really comfortable with yourself to go out in public looking that foolish.

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I personally have a hard time recommending that you buy clothes for someone as a gift.  It is very easy to get both their style AND/OR size wrong.  I tried this once and the gift failure is a story my friends still tease me about to this day.  How could you go wrong when giving someone a plain collared black shirt?  Good question, but here’s the answer.  Apparently, Banana Republic cuts their shirts really small AND many of their shirts are designed in a more cosmopolitan style so they don’t work well for guys who aren’t into fashion trends.  The recipient (let’s call him “Jack”) accepted the shirt and claimed to like it.  He even told me he wore it once, but that was before another male friend informed me of the Banana Republic sizing issues and the extremely high probability that my shirt gift was on its way to Goodwill.  I questioned Jack, but he said it “fit” and that he “liked it”.  I knew that wasn’t true, but just on principle I asked that he wear it so I could see it.  I’ve seen Jack maybe 30 times since then, but have never seen the shirt.  I’ve seen many collared shirts on him.  I’ve seen many black shirts on him.  I’ve just never seen my super styled, super tight shirt – and I never will.

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Don’t let this happen to you.  Skip the clothes unless the recipient picked them out in advance.  Coats are one exception to this as they require less of a style and size match.  I know many of you will try this anyway, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.  You’re the quarterback; I’m just here to protect you.

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