QB Recap: Week One

15 09 2009

“They are who we thought they were!” I sometimes have to remind myself that people usually turn out to be EXACTLY who we thought they were.  Kanye West proved that in his not-so-shocking stunt at the VMAs this weekend, where he simply reminded us that he is the same unstable egomaniac he always was.  Really, why is everyone so surprised?!

I can’t tell you how many fantasy football articles pointed out how unlikely it is that Drew Brees (NOR) or Adrian Peterson (MIN) would put up the kind of big numbers they had in previous years.  I’m not sure what their scoring rules are, but in my league six touchdowns for a QB is a good thing.  Actually, hold on let me check my scoring rules – ok turns out 180 yards and three touchdowns is pretty dang good for a running back too!

Week One was filled with many things I could have seen coming, but these are a few more of my favorites.

-Carson Palmer (CIN): He definitely is who I thought he was!  Watching him play was like running into your ex that dumped you, just to find that he put on 60 pounds and is now living out of his car.  Boy, did I dodge a bullet by swearing off this guy!

-Donovan McNabb (PHI): This guy gets hurt more that my five-year-old riding without his training wheels.  I knew Vick had hit a gold mine in Philly.  I could not imagine that McNabb would stay healthy two seasons in a row.  Did that fool actually break a rib in Week One?  Yes, he did.  We’ll see how long he is “down and out” in coming games.

-Jay Cutler (CHI): I tried to warn all the Washington fans not to lust after Cutler.  He was no better than Campbell in my opinion and would sorely disappoint.  All I can say is – when you’re right; you’re right.  Who gets a new franchise QB just to watch them throw four interceptions in the first game?  Only in Chicago, baby

-Tom Brady (NWE): I think I saw Tom Brady throw a game winning (perfect) TD pass on Monday Night Football.  If I didn’t know better, I would think he was almost as good as – Tom Brady.  He may not be back to his original form, but he is definitely still “who I thought he was.”

 

What did you see this week?  The floor is open…leave it in the comments.

 

WEEK ONE QB TIP: Want to tell someone who loves you that you “are who they thought you were?”  If you don’t have the nerve to say it yourself – look for the long rectangular cards in Hallmark.  They have lots of words on them and are guaranteed to make most women cry.  All you have to do is sign your name!  You’re the quarterback; I’m just here to protect you.

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Carson Palmer

3 07 2009

“NEVER LET ME SLIP, CAUSE IF I SLIP, THEN I’M SLIPPIN.” 

Raise your hand if you know where that lyric came from?  OK…interesting.  I’m going to try to get through this post without flying into rage or curling up into a ball and sobbing.  Wish me luck.  I normally don’t like to allow his name to be spoken, but for the sake of learning I will be covering Carson Palmer today.  During the 2005 season, Carson Palmer was on top of his game.  He ended his season in injury one step from a Wildcard slot, but with expectations for his greatness running high.  I drafted him on my fantasy team in 2006 and he was good (not great, but good).  When the decision came up in 2007, I had a choice of Palmer or Brady.  My feelings on Brady were mixed (see Tom Brady post for more details) so I decided to “stand by my man” and select Palmer for another year.  Well, Brady was nothing short of amazing and Palmer was nothing short of mediocre.  I often played Brett Favre (my backup) just for variety.

I will never (ever, ever, ever) pick Carson Palmer again.  We have OFFICIALLY broken up!  He claims this will be a breakthrough year, but I won’t be falling for that late night booty call from the ex.

Breakups can be tough, especially when it comes to deciding what should be done with gifts given throughout the relationship.  It may seem confusing, but actually the rules are pretty simple.  If you gave it, it’s gone.  However, if you receive a big ticket item (like a plasma TV) the week before YOU break up with someone, the classy thing to do (though still not required) would be to return it.  The one exception to this is an engagement ring.  That isn’t really a gift.  It is a contract.  She gets the ring and you get her hand in marriage.  If you don’t decide to get married, the ring should be returned immediately.  You are NOT a jerk for asking for it back even if you broke off the engagement (though her friends will definitely say otherwise).  If you do get married and it doesn’t work out, the original contract was still fulfilled.  Kiss the ring goodbye. 

Incase you’re curious; I don’t suggest you work any of the “a ring is a contract” statements into your proposal.  You’re the quarterback; I’m just here to protect you.