Carson Palmer

3 07 2009

“NEVER LET ME SLIP, CAUSE IF I SLIP, THEN I’M SLIPPIN.” 

Raise your hand if you know where that lyric came from?  OK…interesting.  I’m going to try to get through this post without flying into rage or curling up into a ball and sobbing.  Wish me luck.  I normally don’t like to allow his name to be spoken, but for the sake of learning I will be covering Carson Palmer today.  During the 2005 season, Carson Palmer was on top of his game.  He ended his season in injury one step from a Wildcard slot, but with expectations for his greatness running high.  I drafted him on my fantasy team in 2006 and he was good (not great, but good).  When the decision came up in 2007, I had a choice of Palmer or Brady.  My feelings on Brady were mixed (see Tom Brady post for more details) so I decided to “stand by my man” and select Palmer for another year.  Well, Brady was nothing short of amazing and Palmer was nothing short of mediocre.  I often played Brett Favre (my backup) just for variety.

I will never (ever, ever, ever) pick Carson Palmer again.  We have OFFICIALLY broken up!  He claims this will be a breakthrough year, but I won’t be falling for that late night booty call from the ex.

Breakups can be tough, especially when it comes to deciding what should be done with gifts given throughout the relationship.  It may seem confusing, but actually the rules are pretty simple.  If you gave it, it’s gone.  However, if you receive a big ticket item (like a plasma TV) the week before YOU break up with someone, the classy thing to do (though still not required) would be to return it.  The one exception to this is an engagement ring.  That isn’t really a gift.  It is a contract.  She gets the ring and you get her hand in marriage.  If you don’t decide to get married, the ring should be returned immediately.  You are NOT a jerk for asking for it back even if you broke off the engagement (though her friends will definitely say otherwise).  If you do get married and it doesn’t work out, the original contract was still fulfilled.  Kiss the ring goodbye. 

Incase you’re curious; I don’t suggest you work any of the “a ring is a contract” statements into your proposal.  You’re the quarterback; I’m just here to protect you.

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One response

3 07 2009
Terrance

THE PLASMA IS STAYING!!!!!!!!! I don’t care care if we broke in the store while she was buying it. Deal with it. You know how I feel about TV’s and gadgets (hug.denity.com).

And by the way, a couple of years ago, I read an article that had that line as one of the worst lyrics of all time. Strangely enough, it’s still one of the top hits on Google if you search for the actual lyrics.

http://rap.about.com/od/toppicks/a/WorstRapLyrics.htm

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