Jason Campbell

19 06 2009

CampbellI

Top 10 Things Jason Campbell Can Teach Us About Wedding Gifts

1.   Sure we think he is an amazingly great guy, but all Washington (and any team) really cares about is how much he wins.  Likewise do pick up a card, but if there is no cash or check inside it isn’t really a gift.

2.  Does Jay Cutler have way better numbers?  No.  Is anyone fairly certain he is a better quarterback?  No.  All he really would have offered Washington was something a bit more interesting.  A new guy on the field.  Buying a gift will be more interesting and it could cost you less.  Consider it.

3.   Jason has had to learn three offenses in his short career due to Washington’s constant need for a new direction.  It is not easy to know what people want and it won’t be easy to pick out a gift on your own.  Stick to the registry. 

4.  Once you invested time and energy into a quarterback, you would probably want to invest in protecting him with a strong offensive line.  Washington never managed to do that, but you can do it with your gift presentation.  Bother to seek and find customer service in most department stores and they will wrap your gift for free. 

5.  The Redskins obviously think they can do better than Jason Campbell as evidenced by their attempts to trade for Cutler and Sanchez.  If you want to do better than the free gift wrap, customer service offers some pricey (can be upwards of $5) but much nicer selections than the usually monotone free options.

6.  Jason started last season strong, but fell apart at the end.  Remember to put your name on the gift if you didn’t get a card.

7.  We would all absolutely understand if Campbell was insulted and pissed with the Redskins, but it is nice to see a sports figure that decides to take the high road.  If you don’t attend a wedding you don’t owe a gift, but if you send one anyway it would be super classy.

8.  At the end of the day Jason and Washington are stuck with each other, even if they both think they have already given enough.  You are also still expected to give a gift at the weddings you participate in.  I know you already spent a ton on the tux and the bachelor party, but the expectation will be that you still give a gift.  If you choose otherwise, that’s on you.

9.  Sometimes having fire in your belly can do a lot to make people think you are capable.  Jason lacks the ability to create this impression and thus has to stand on results alone.  When invited to an engagement party, show up happy.  Maybe bring a card.  That should cover it.

10.  Jason Campbell is in the last year of his rookie contract with no talks of extension.  This is perhaps the biggest season of his professional life.  Weddings are also big events in the lives of the people you know and love.  Be helpful and supportive as they go through the process and it will matter more than your gift.

Finally, try to make sure the video is not on you when you bust out the Y-M-C-A at the reception!  You’re the quarterback; I’m just here to protect you.

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6 responses

19 06 2009
Terrance

I love it when people lay down the rules. Life can be some much simplier. However, I don’t understand #2

19 06 2009
KJ Walker

Giving money is just as good as giving a gift, everyone loves money. People (correction women) tend to remember indefinitely who gave what wedding present, but nobody will specifically remember your card or your check (unless you give a really large amount). That is what makes the gift a more interesting play. It isn’t valued more, but it is more interesting. If you care whether the bride remembers what you gave, consider going for a gift. If you don’t really care as long as you gave something, go for the check.

20 06 2009
Carol

Kourtney, this is great!!! Here is my question, in the picture of Jason Campbell the first and third button on this suit jacket are buttoned, but not the second and fourth…..Why is this?

20 06 2009
KJ Walker

I wish I could help out with the button question. I actually didn’t even notice. Now that you point it out, it certainly is odd. If anyone out there knows, please inform all.

20 06 2009
Terrance

Re: the buttons. It’s most likely comfort. The question is really about the second button. No matter how many buttons a suit has, the bottom button is never buttoned. However, I’ve seen Mr Cambell in a few ads and his gentleman style is a little suspect. But you should always go for comfort over rules and it think that’s what he does.

Maybe he’s like technology and just needs a hug. See for yourself at hug.Denity.com. Yes, that’s a shameless plug.

6 07 2009
Saleem

Yo, this blog is hilarious… To tie NFL quarterbacks and gift giving together is weirdly brilliant…

However, although I love my boy Jason Campbell…. Jay Cutler is actually better than him…

Dan Snyder was just too stupid NOT to lock up the trade before letting his affections for Cutler so daggone public… I hope J.C. throws for 3,500+ yards and 25+ TDs… then Danny Boy’s gonna have to pay him top dollar… I laughed out loud at the Carson Palmer joint…. I got caught up in the mix with him after ’06… Don’t get me started!

This is funny as hell… good work!

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